One of my best-kept secrets is I have been living with a man and no I’m not talking about my son. He has come through for me in a pinch every single time without fail. Just recently, he paid off a $34,736.44 hospital bill all without me knowing about it. When I look over the past 18 years, he has shown up over and over again, surprising me at every single turn. This man has been a better father to my son than I could ever image, a better provider than the Federal Reserve Bank and a better protector than a Navy Seal.
When I think about how we met, I’m still astonished that he even stopped to take notice of me. He had been in my life the whole time but I never noticed him. Never even gave him the time of day. That was until I got desperate and had nowhere to turn. He was the only man standing there to help me in the middle of my crisis. Let the truth be told he is the only man who has ever showed up for me, so why wouldn’t I live with him.
Ever since I gave him full access to my life, he has been rearranging my world. When I decided to send my son to private school and was struggling to make the tuition payments, he showed up. I will never forget the feeling of holding that letter in my hand with a refund check for all the tuition I had paid up to that point. What you need to understand is I was on the payment plan, for a payment plan, for a payment plan – you know what I mean? I thought the letter was a rejection letter telling me my son could not return to school in the spring because of the outstanding balance on his account. Instead, the letter explained that they had received an anonymous donation for my son’s tuition and they were issuing me a refund. WOW! He came through right when my back was up against the wall. Then he does it again 12 years later with another anonymous donation to pay a $34,000 hospital bill – WHO DOES THAT?
He has paid for attorney fees in legal battles, repaired my home, got the squirrels out of my attic twice, saved my house from foreclosure and my truck from repo. I can’t even tell you the connections he has made that still boggle my mind. Even when I can’t see him, I can feel his presence ever so intensely. His name is El Shaddai, the God who is more than enough. I can’t begin to explain my love for Him or how deeply He expresses His love for me! When I first moved to Georgia with a 2-month-old baby on my hip, on welfare, living in a cold basement, I cried out to Jesus and said, “I don’t want my son to suffer because I decided to leave his father.” The Holy Spirit gave me this verse:
Isaiah 54:4-5 NKJV
“Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; For you will forget the shame of your youth, And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore. For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.”
From that day to this, I have stood on that promise. When the bills were overwhelming, I piled them high on my prayer floor and prayed, “A husband provides. Lord I need some provision.” Days when I didn’t think I could make it, I looked to my spiritual husband for encouragement. When the squirrels were making so much noise I couldn’t write, I said, “A husband would handle that.” When enemies were stronger and more powerful than I was, I looked to my spiritual husband who is the Lord of hosts and He destroyed every one of them.
So often people will tell me:
- “Brenda, it don’t take all that.”
- “You are too RELIGIOUS!”
- “Everything doesn’t need to be about Jesus.”
Every single mom out there, be encouraged because He can be your EVERYTHING too!