I realize I’m no good at being fake or am I? I’m on a first date last night with a handsome young man. I didn’t think at first blush he was my type but he really put in some work to get my attention. I’m open-minded and like meeting new people. We meet at a restaurant and he shows up in a T-shirt about smoking weed. I’m thinking to myself REALLY, at forty-something years old people are still wearing t-shirts like that? Unbeknownst to me, he was barely 30 years old. Next thing I know out my mouth comes, “You smoke weed?” Just like that! He lies but my inspector gadget senses went into full effect.
I tried to be nice through dinner, I really did! Next thing I know I’m asking about jail time, weed habits and baby mommas. He goes on about how I could be his future and how he needs a real woman in his life. In all honesty, he is getting an eye roll from me in my head (I hope it didn’t come across my face). Then I make a statement that was way too judgmental (in which I repented for later), “My image is too important to me.” In other words, you and that weed smoking, thug life thing you got going on, doesn’t fit into my world anymore. Screaming you’re not good enough, screaming rejection and absent of any sense of respect or love.
The truth is this was a multifaceted test for me. In the past 20 years, I have given up a lot of things to walk in obedience to the Lord and enjoy His abundant promises in my life. Of the things I have given up, weed and sex are the two I miss the most. They are also the two I am tested on the most. I have not always passed my tests but I have passed many of them. I simply can’t allow anything to compromise the integrity of my life. My private life and public life MUST MATCH! My career, my business and everything I do depend on it. Which means I simply can’t allow people who indulge in these things to tempt me back into a life that no longer serves my future, even if I do miss elements of it. Nothing to do with them but everything to do with me, my past, and my weaknesses.
It Goes Deep:
Just because you miss something doesn’t mean it gets a place in your future.
However, this date takes things to a deeper level! The test wasn’t just about me dying to the flesh, overcoming a temptation and being true to the woman I am today. It was also about my desire to love people right where they are at in their lives, with no judgment. To still inspire, encourage and empower them even if I don’t agree with their lifestyle. It doesn’t mean I bring them into the inner circle of my world but it does mean that I treat them with the respect every human being deserves. Just because I sin differently, doesn’t mean I am any better than anyone else.
Yes, I know it is a shock that a Christian Life Coach still has sin in her life. Newsflash everyone on this side of eternity also has sin in their life. (If you want me to get biblical on that topic email me.) The question is how do we deal with our sin. Do we allow it to define who we are, justify it, deny it or do we release it to the one who can wipe it from our hearts? I choose to be transparent and release mine to one greater than I. I simply can’t do this obedience walk on my own. I need Him (JESUS)!
Inevitably, I need to apologize to him. He didn’t deserve how I treated him. He was just being who he is and I don’t get to judge if that is good or bad. I DO get to decide if he is a good candidate for me to date. Which as handsome as he is unfortunately, he is not, (not to mention the 15 year age gap). Too much would have to change in both of our lives in order for us to seriously date. I am a big believer that in order to move forward with a person you need to accept them 100% with no alterations, that’s the purpose of dating.
In all of this, I have come to realize I can’t fake it with people. I need to be true to who I am but not at the expense of another person’s feelings and dignity. If I can’t respect them as a person then I am still being fake to who I proclaim to be, A WOMAN WHO LOVES EVERYONE and inspires them to greatness.
Be True, BE LOVE, BU!
I may have passed the first part of this test but I surely need to do a makeup on the second part. Tomorrow will tell the story if I pass or not.
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I hope this song meets you in a sweet place and empowers you to make one more step forward, even when you fail!