Defy the Odds

Breakthrough for Life Coach Insights 08-18-16

I am a single mother of an 18-year-old, black male child. His father was a good man with a bad habit – a drug habit. I left my son’s father when my son was 2 months old. I literally ran for my life in the middle of the night to Atlanta, GA. Atlanta was a place where I had hardly any family, no job and next to no support. I found myself on welfare getting food stamps. I could literally see my mother rolling over in her grave when I received my first EBT card. I remember only being able to afford a six-pack of cloth diapers that I had to wash out every night. It was hard and discouraging raising a child under those conditions.

I have personally lived a life of one bad choice after another. Choosing to sell and use drugs put me in a lifestyle that seemed all glam to start with but ended in a crash against a wall. Living a dual lifestyle of a drug dealer by night and corporate trainer by day can take a toll on a young girl’s life. The famous cliché “looking for love in all the wrong places” caused me so much pain and anguish.

The Stats

Statistics say that my son and I should be living in the ghetto, still on government assistance. My son would fall into the norm of a black male being raised without a father. You know that norm that is all over the news these days, his pants hanging halfway down his butt, smoking blunts in a gang and selling drugs. That is how society portrays a single black female raising a young black male. There is no hope because of the bad choices I made. There’s no way around the statistics of society, right?

I could have allowed my epic failures as a young girl to define my future but I DIDN’T! I dared to believe that I was created for more. That my son could have a future and I, Brenda Underwood, could DEFY THE ODDS!! I was determined to turn my life around for good, not a temporary fix but a breakthrough for the rest of my life. I intended never to visit that level of bondage again, no more repeating the same destructive cycles.

People Who Don’t

I am all about defying the odds and destroying stereotypes. I understand that statistics play a part in communicating the norms of any society. However, for every percentage of people who do, there is a percentage of people who DON’T. There is a percentage of people who don’t get abortions, don’t get divorced, don’t use drugs, and don’t steal and lie to get ahead. People who aren’t racist, aren’t bigots and aren’t marked by hatred. What about those people? Where is their voice?

I want to magnify the positive light of society and inspire others to reach above the odds and statistics that are stacked against them. For those of us that did get an abortion, did get a divorce, did use drugs, did steal and lie to get ahead, it does not have to define you. You too can defy the odds. You too can rise above the norms. You too can direct the path of your future.


We are so bombarded with the negativity of what we can’t do and what is supposedly so far out of our reach. The big “I CAN’T” looms over us like a huge cloud of “DON’T TRY”, whispering discouraging reminders in our minds of all the times we tried and failed. I am here today to tell you failure is not a destination1 and it is not final. The only failure in life is not trying.

Here at Breakthrough for Life we say TRY and don’t just try, achieve the life you always hoped for but never thought you could have. Maybe you never dreamed of a life better than the one you are living now. Let me ask you a question: are you fulfilled, happy and living your purpose? What is the dream you buried in the shame of your failures?

It is time to dream again without any limits. Dream BIG!! “Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”2 There is a life abundant out there for you. A life beyond living paycheck-to-paycheck, issue-to-issue, day to boring day. Can you get a glimpse of it?

Kick “I CAN’T” out!!

Don’t allow it to take up real estate in the recesses of your mind and let’s get to work making dreams a reality and defying the odds!! Take the first step and contact me today for your FREE 30 minute consultation – NO OBLIGATIONS!

Breakthrough for Life is where your full potential is fully realized.

1Les Brown
2Paul Brandt

2 comments on “Defy the Odds

Thank you for being you, for real ❤️ It’s so very good to read your story and to be encouraged to know that there is hope to overcome “statistics” and to get up out of a rut in life and live a life that is worth living. A life where one is able to find peace and to leave behind trouble and fear. A life that has the potential to bring joy and the delight of dreams back to life. Dreams that had been crushed and lost somewhere along a long road of wrong turns and bad choices that just seem to knock the want to right out of a person. Thank you again for giving of your experiences and heart to help people like me to keep looking forward with faith and confidence in the hope of a good future that started just as soon as I made a choice to say yes to doing what it takes to receiving my own personal breakthrough! God bless you for all that you continue to give to others as you write and speak truth!

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